Indonesia

The porter looked at me quizically, but nodded his Peci covered head in acknowledgement and let us through.

I had just apologized in clumsy Bahasa to the doorman of my hotel after bumping him. Like the other locals I had been using my newly learned vocabulary on, he seemed surprised. Probably unused to polite bule (Caucasian), I thought.

It was my third week in the Indonesian capital of Jakarta. Very early I had noticed the casual arrogance of many Westerners in this developing country, and it shamed me. I was determined to be different. For weeks I had been ferreting words into my mobile phone, and referencing the growing list. When people spoke to each other, the burred tones unfurling from their lips like batik swirls, I listened carefully. When a friend bumped into an old woman at the top of an escalator and blurted a surprised apology, I took note.

The first perkataan greedily collected had been those most useful in showing respect and consideration. "Thank-you", which came in several forms, was first. I had particularly sought out "Please" which even locals didn't use often. "Sorry", to my pride, I had picked up in context without help. My grammar was non-existent, but after only a few weeks I could almost make my way without falling back into sign language.

"What did you say to the doorman?" my Indonesian friend and incidental tutor enquired, when we reached my room. "He looked at you strangely."

"Oh, I bumped him and said sorry." I was unable to keep some pride from touching my voice.

"Who taught you that," my friend asked. "I don't remember teaching you that."

"I heard you say it in the mall when you bumped into that old lady last week. I've been using it a lot." I repeated the word in Bahasa, careful to get the pronounciation correct.

There was a pause. Then came a howl; a long husky note, like a shocked cry of pain, that started high and descended into gurgling, staccato madness. My friend fell to the floor in breathless hysterics - literally rolled onto the bed, and then to the floor. It was gut-busting hilarity, and it took minutes to subside.

"What! What's so funny!" I tried to be heard over my friend's raucous delight. "What!"

"That... doesn't mean Sorry," through gasps and more helpless laughter. "I was swearing... that's Bahasa for dick."